Til Abortion Do Us Part
by Mr. Tickle
Summary: Dean takes Sam to the grand canyon to ask him a question that's been burning in the back of his mind for the past twenty-four years. Craziness ensues.


SAM GAZED OUT ACROSS THE GRAND CANYON AND DREW A SHARP BREATH. HE COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THE SCENERY THAT WOULDN'T MAKE DEAN CALL HIM A WALKING SOAP OPERA SO HE LEFT THE SILENCE UNBROKEN. THE SILENCE WAS RATHER GLAD OF THIS. AT LEAST IT WAS UNTIL DEAN'S VOICE SHATTERED IT INTO MILLIONS OF TINY LITTLE PIECES.

"HEY SAM," HE SAID. "HOW DEEP DO YOU THINK THIS THING IS?"

"OVER SIX THOUSAND FEET." SAM REPLIED.

DEAN ROLLED HIS EYES. "DUDE. YOU ARE LIKE A WALKING ENCYCLOPEDIA OF LANDMARKS."

SAM HUFFED AND TRIED TO PRETEND HE WASN'T ENJOYING THE SCENERY. "DEAN, WHY DID YOU BRING ME OUT HERE?"

"IT'S THE GRAND CANYON, SAMMY."

"EXACTLY."

"IT'S AWESOME."

"_DEAN._"

"WHAT?"

"DO YOU HAVE CANCER OR SOMETHING?"

DEAN LOOKED LIKE HE HAD JUST BEEN SLAPPED ACROSS THE FACE. "BZUH?"

"OR MAYBE THE APOCALYPSE IS TOMORROW, AND YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME."

DEAN CONTINUED TO LOOK CONFUSED.

"DON'T TELL ME YOU JUST FANCIED A SIGHT-SEEING TRIP."

DEAN MADE A FACE LIKE HE'D JUST BEEN CAUGHT WITH HIS HAND IN THE COOKIE JAR. HE CRUSHED SOME OF THE SHORT PALE GRASS UNDER THE TOE OF HIS BOOT AND GLANCED DOWN AT THE GREEN STAIN HE'D LEFT IN THE DIRT. WHEN HE SPOKE AGAIN HIS VOICE WAS QUIETER AND MORE SOLEMN.

"THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU FOR A WHILE."

"SHOOT."

"I-" DEAN PAUSED TO SWALLOW THE LUMP THAT HAD FORMED IN HIS THROAT. "I- OH, FUCKING FUCK." HE WIPED HIS EYE ON THE SLEEVE OF HIS LEATHER JACKET AND REMOVED A SMALL BLACK OBJECT FROM HIS POCKET. SAM GLANCED AT IT, AND BACK AT DEAN, A QUESTION OBVIOUS IN HIS EXPRESSION.

_WHAT IS IT?_

DEAN FLIPPED IT OPEN. INSIDE, IMPRISONED IN A RED VELVET DUNGEON, WAS A BEAUTIFUL GOLD RING WITH TWO BLUE GEMSTONES SET IN IT. SAM REMOVED IT, HELD IT UP SO IT CAUGHT THE LAST LIGHT OF THE SETTING SUN, AND SMILED.

"AQUAMARINE." HE SAID.

DEAN GRINNED. "I KNOW YOU HATE SAPPHIRES."

SAM COULDN'T STOP A SINGLE TEAR FROM ROLLING DOWN HIS CHEEK.

"_YES_." HE WHISPERED.

DEAN'S GRIN GREW WIDER AND WIDER UNTIL SMILING STARTED TO HURT. HE LEAPT FORWARD AND HUGGED SAM SO VIOLENTLY THAT THEY ALMOST FELL INTO THE CANYON. SAM SWORE AND PULLED AWAY FROM HIM.

"FUCK DEAN YOU ALMOST KILLED US."

"OH SHIT SORRY. LET'S HAVE SEX."

IT WAS SAM'S TURN TO LOOK LIKE HE HAD BEEN SLAPPED ACROSS THE FACE. "WHAT?"

"YOU. ME. SEX."

"NOW?"

DEAN ROLLED HIS EYES. "SAM, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO HAVE SEX BY THE GRAND CANYON. WITH YOU."

SAM FIDDLED NERVOUSLY WITH DEAN'S RING, WHICH HE WAS WEARING ON HIS PINKY BECAUSE IT WAS SLIGHLY TOO SMALL, DESPITE BEING THE LARGEST SIZE IN THE SHOP.

"BUT DEAN." HE SAID. "YOU KNOW I WANT TO ABSTAIN UNTIL MARRIAGE."

"WELL, WE'RE ALMOST MARRIED." DEAN REPLIED, SHRUGGING.

SAM HUFFED AND MADE THE WIDEY ARMS OF DOOM. "FINE. BUT LET'S MOVE AWAY FROM THE EDGE."

"THAT WOULD BE A FUN WAY TO DIE."

"_DEAN._"

"OKAY, MOVING. GET YOUR SHIRT OFF."

SAM OBLIGED AND FOLLOWED DEAN TO THE NEAREST TREE. WHEN THEY WERE BOTH NAKED SAM LEANT AGAINST IT, BACK TO DEAN, AND SPOKE SOFLTY:

"BE GENTLE. PLEASE?"

"DON'T WORRY, SAMMY." DEAN SAID, AND THOUGH SAM COULDN'T SEE DEAN'S FACE HE COULD HEAR THE COCKY GRIN IN HIS VOICE. "YOU'RE NOT THE FIRST VIRGIN I'VE FUCKED."

SAM GASPED AS DEAN ENTERED HIM. SAM FOUND HIS FIRST TIME QUITE ENJOYABLE, ESPECIALLY SINCE IT WAS WITH HIS BROTHER AND AGAINST A TREE. THEIR MOANS ECHOED OUT ACROSS THE VAST EMPTY LANDSCAPE, CONFUSING SOME TOURISTS SEVERAL MILES AWAY.

DEAN WAS CLIMAXING WHEN SUDDENLY SAM SHOUTED AND STARTED TRYING TO TWIST AWAY FROM HIM, ADDING TO DEAN'S PLEASURE.

"FUCK! NO, DON'T FUCK, DEAN; THERE'S BARK IN MY EYE! SHIT."

IT WAS AWKWARD, BUT DEAN MANAGED TO REMOVE IT WITHOUT UNPENETRATING HIS BROTHER. SAM WAS GOING TO THANK HIM, BUT WHEN HE OPENED HIS MOUTH ALL THAT ESCAPED WAS A DEEP MOAN.

THAT NIGHT, WELL AFTER SUNSET, THEY LAY TOGETHER AT THE BASE OF THE TREE. SAM'S HEAD RESTED ON DEAN'S CHEST, AND HE COULD HEAR HIS BROTHER'S HEART POUNDING. THEY WERE BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY, AND THE GENTLE RISE AND FALL OF DEAN'S CHEST LULLED SAM TO SLEEP.

*

AS HE GAZED DOWN THE AISLE, DEAN WONDERED HOW THEY HAD MANAGED TO ORGANISE A WEDDING IN JUST A WEEK. HIS STOMACH LURCHED WHEN THE ORGAN PLAYED THE FIRST NOTES OF _BACK IN BLACK_. THE ELABORATELY CARVED DOUBLE DOORS AND THE FRONT OF THE CHURCH SWUNG OPEN AND ADMITTED THE TWO FLOWERGIRLS, GORDON AND JESUSFREAK. THEY SKIPPED DOWN THE AISLE, FRILLY PINK DRESSES WAVING DAINTILY IN THE SLIGHT BREEZE THAT FOLLOWED THEM, LEAVING A TRAIL OF WHITE AND RED ROSE PETALS IN THEIR WAKE.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER, TWO MORE FIGURES APPEARED IN THE DOORWAY. BOBBY SINGER, DRESSED IMMACULATELY IN A TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT; HE KNEW IT WAS IMPROPER TO SHOW ONE'S

TOP-OF-THE-HEAD ON FORMAL OCCAISIONS SUCH AS THESE, AND, HANGING OFF HIS ARM, WAS SAM,

WEARING THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GOWN DEAN HAD EVER SEEN. THE BODICE WAS METICULOUSLY EMBROIDED WITH A PATTERN OF NECTARINE BLOSSOMS, AND THE MANY LAYERS OF THE ETHEREAL SKIRT FLOATED GENTLY WITH HIS MOVEMENTS. SILK SLEEVES ENDED MIDWAY DOWN HIS FOREARMS. A SILVER TIARA SAT ATOP HIS PERFECTLY CURLED EMOHAIR, AND THE TWO DIAMONDS SET IN IT GLINTED IN THE SUNLIGHT.

AFTER WHAT SEEMED TO DEAN LIKE FIVE AND A HALF ETERNITIES, SAM WAS STANDING BY HIM, HOLDING HIS HANDS, GAZING INTO HIS EYES AND SMILING. HE SMILED BACK. IT WAS PERFECT.

THE LAST NOTES OF THE MUSIC FADED, AND SAM TOOK A SHINY GOLD RING FROM THE RED CUSHION CASTIEL HELD OUT TO HIM. HE SLIPPED IT ONTO DEAN'S FINGER, AND SPOKE:

"WITH THIS RING I THEE WED, AND ALL MY WORLDLY GOODS I THEE ENDOW. IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, IN POVERTY OR IN WEALTH, TILL DEATH DO US PART."

DEAN TOOK THE OTHER RING AND SLIPPED IT ONTO SAM'S PINKY FINGER. IT WAS MUCH TOO SMALL FOR HIS RING FINGER, DESPITE BEING THE LARGEST IN THE SHOP. HE BLINKED TO CLEAR THE TEARS FROM HIS EYES, AND SPOKE:

"WITH THIS RING I THEE WED, AND ALL MY WORLDLY GOODS I THEE-" HE HAD TO STOP TO SWALLOW THE LUMP THAT WAS FORMING IN HIS THROAT. "ENDOW. IN SICKNESS AND IN-" NO. NO WAY WAS HE GOING TO CRY IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE CHURCH. HE TOOK A DEEP BREATH AND RECITED THE REST OF HIS VOWS AS QUICKLY AS HE COULD. "HEALTHINPOVERTYORINWEALTHTILLDEATHDOUSPART."

"I NOW PRONOUNCE THIS COUPLE HUSBAND AND WIFE." CASTIEL ANNOUCED. "YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BRIDE."

DEAN TOOK SAM IN HIS ARMS AND GAVE HIM THE MOST PASSIONATE KISS ANYBODY IN THE CHURCH HAD EVER SEEN. THEY CHEERED LOUD ENOUGH TO WAKE THE DEAD IN THE PARISH GRAVEYARD. WHEN SAM AND DEAN FINALLY PULLED AWAY FROM EACH OTHER DEAN GLANCED AT BOBBY, AND SAW TEARS IN THE MAN'S EYES.

LATER THAT DAY, WHEN THEY WERE DRIVING AWAY FROM THE CHURCH IN THE BEST MAN (AKA THE IMPALA) SAM ASKED DEAN WERE THEY SHOULD GO FOR THEIR HONEYMOON.

"THE GRAND CANYON." HE REPLIED.

SAM GRINNED. "I LOVE THE GRAND CANYON."

AND SO THEY DROVE. THE 'JUST MARRIED' SIGN BROKE OFF THE BACK OF THE CAR AFTER THE FIRST TWO MILES, AND GOT CAUGHT ON A TWISTED OLD APPLE TREE.


End file.
